I had my first anxiety attack at five years old. I was at a nursing home visiting my grandfather who was near the end of his life. The nurse was taking his teeth out to clean them and I freaked out! I thought they were taking him apart or something, I had never seen that. I went through my first medical trauma when my younger brother went through brain surgery when I was four years old. We didn’t know if he was going to live or die. Shortly after that my younger sister had a terrible crash on a motorcycle and the scene was right on our farm and it scarred me for a long time. 

I often experienced debilitating panic attacks through my childhood and into my teen years. All of my panic attack were tied to anything related to medical or health trauma. By the time I was 15 I had witnessed many medical traumas including a few more brain surgeries and lived with a medically fragile sibling. I had ulcers and lived with constant stomach aches worrying about my sis long and the world at large. 

At 26 my first child was born. I experienced a placenta abruption at 30 weeks gestation, he was pronounced dead and I was dying. Miraculously he was delivered via emergency c-section after they discovered he barely had a heartbeat just as they were pronouncing him deceased. He was 2lbs, 3oz. I knew he would be living in the NICU for some time, at least a few months if he lived that long. This thought alone of facing the hospital on a daily basis sent me into extreme panic. On his fifth day in the NICU I started to have a panic attack while I was pumping in the mothers room. This panic attack felt more extreme then any others I had felt: extreme nausea, head spinning, feeling like I was going to either explode or implode or have a heart attack! 

That day I cried out, “ENOUGH!!” I had had enough. I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like I was going to die with each panic attack and I couldn’t do that everyday when I came to the hospital to see and take care of my premie baby! Up until that point I had just gone along with the panic attacks like I had no choice. But that day I made the decision to do everything I could in my power to end them. 

I began a journey of exploring deep faith, intense exercise, clean eating, taking medication and then later natural remedies, along with consistent CBT training (self taught) and I was able to  change the course of my life forever! I worked on it every single day. It has been over 20 years now and I have only had a handful of panic attacks and I am free of debilitating anxiety! I even worked as an Administrator in the largest hospital in my state in the ED! Talk about conquering the fear!!! 

Anxiety doesn’t have to own your life like it did mine. I am not a medical professional but I have found how to be free of the hold that anxiety had on my life. Book a free 30 minute consultation with me and let’s talk about taking your life back! It’s time.